I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
