smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
