Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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