so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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