Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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