windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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