And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize