I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
