you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
