I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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