Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
