that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
