I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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