I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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