Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My Higher Power is John Stamos
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize