its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
