I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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