i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize