He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
