he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
