Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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