True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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