Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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