but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
