shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
