I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
