I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
