Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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