Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
