and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize