the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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