Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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