I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize