literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
