If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
