I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
