it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
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