He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
