She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize