my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize