I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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