It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
