yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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