If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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