I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
