It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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