im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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