RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
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