That's intense
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
