I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
