Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
