it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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