The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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