Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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