So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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