I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
