what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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