Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
