She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
