Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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